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'Craziest dream' on the stream, here's two, but not how you might think...

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Dear Jamie.


2 crazy dreams for you. Love to know what you think.


I've got a world I go to when I dream. It's a word I'm sure I've come from, somehow, not in this life but in another one. It's got its own spaceport, I've been there, it's got 2 moons but it's NOT Mars because it's a truly massive planet, far bigger than Jupiter. Of course it's got cities and railways, scrapyards with tech. leftovers from many worlds in them, people try making inventions from the leftover bits and sometimes they work....


In the dream, I was on a cruise ship. They were having a theme afternoon, 'Murder on the Orient Express.' Everyone was hiring dresses and outfits like those in the book and there was even a little 'Orient Express' train going around the deck for the kids to ride on. Of course, they were fun-re-enacting the murder. I got taken to one side by ship staff and informed I was the 'murderer' - I met my 'victim', an actor and was given the weapon. He 'died' with wonderful screams of agony, of course there were Keystone Kops, I failed dramatically to escape and was theatrically tried, found guilty and marched off to the 'jail' on a lower deck.


I sat there till I got bored, then pushed the back wall. The whole 'wall' was a door, it opened up into a huge casino. Wish I could tell you in detail of all the games but the truth is I didn't understand half of them. I walked amongst tables filled with flashing lights, creatures slapping buttons and targets, sounds of joy and frustration all around but a lot of the games were flat built for an alien mindset and just didn't mean a lot to me. The one-armed bandits did, and I watched people dropping handfuls of coins into them and usually walking away disappointed. They weren't just the usual one-armed bandit shape, though. Some looked like statues with bunches of spinning eyes, some were moon, star-shaped, one was filled with holographic fish that 'swam' into sequences. I preferred watching to playing and just watched the others.


Then I went back upstairs to the top deck. It was night by now and I could see both moons in the sky, far, far richer with stars than is ours. Some of the 'stars' were actually space-liners and it was fun trying to pick out which was which. There were lots of little cubbyholes around the decks for couples to stand in, undisturbed, looking out across the waters. I scraped up a few handfuls of scraps from plates on tables to feed the fish, and went to the side of the boat. There were two kinds of fish being fed, one had heads like little skulls on top of long, transparent tails and the second, to me more interesting, was just a floating area of grey flesh. Wherever any food hit, it just sunk straight in. There weren't any obvious mouths. So I played target practice till my hands were empty, then thought I'd go back to my cabin.


But, I got the wrong stairs and ended up in the crew's quarters. Through one of the doors was coming a voice so beautiful, so haunting, I can't forget it though I can't really describe it. I went in and there was this tiny, waif-thin alien singing to a room of entranced crew members. I was the only human there, but they made room for me and I, too, became enthralled by her voice, though I couldn't understand her language. She was accompanying herself with a synth. built into her coat (don't laugh, Kraftwerk do that!) and by the time she'd finished I was in floods of tears. The others jostled out of the room and I went to thank her for her singing. I took the coat from her and it weighed a ton. She was exhausted, obviously from a far lighter gravity world, wearing that thing. I remember getting her a drink and a cloth to mop her face with and she gave me a little bow and thanked me for staying.


Went back outside and there was a great, galumphing alien dog-equivalent, it had skin like mottled chicken-flesh. I stroked it, it was slightly tacky, like part-dried rubber solution. It pressed itself against my fingers and little coloured lights rose up beneath its skin. Then the crewmember who owned it laughed and called to it and it went galloping back off to its room.


Went back up on deck and there was one MASSIVE starliner, so big it had to wait for most of the others to hit the spaceport - I even know in detail how the spaceport works but I won't tell you here - glowing like a new sun in the sky. I just stood, watching its glow, then I woke up!


Here's the second. Believe it or not (it's a dream!) it's about Heaven. I've been there. And it doesn't work the way you think.


In the dream, I was a cherub. Now in reality they're trainee angels, 'go-fers' for the regular angels. Get sent out to all the dimensions to fetch and carry stuff. I'd been sent to the dimension of Faerie and had found a baby, abandoned seemingly under one of the many giant plants there. Being Faerie, it was of course tiny and frail and I'd not wanted any of the wild animals to find it, so I'd brought it back with me.


"Wotcha got there then?" The Gatekeeper. An angel with huge wings and a halo? Nope - a little guy in a checked shirt and braces (and trousers of course!) The only way I knew he was the Gatekeeper was because he had a red cap with a shield embroidered on it, golden crossed keys in the shield. He came up and looked at the baby. 'Ohh. Been to Faerie, have we? Someone's in for a zapping when the mother gets back."

"But the animals..."

"She'd've put a geas on it you idiot, wouldn't affect a cherub but would anything else living that tried to touch it, promise you. You're gonna have to take it back and explain it to the mother!" He saw the dismay on my face as I realised this and ruffled my hair. "Go on. They're waiting for you inside."

He opened the Gate and I went through. Masses of choirs and God receiving endless praise? Nope. Heaven works in concentric circles. The outer ones are just like a city on Earth, only infinitely large (there's no 'size' there, everything's infinite!) Each circle gets more Biblical and when you hit the centre, THEN you get God Central. But you can take as long as you want, doing that. There's no time there, you see. I went into the Waiting Room, where the new arrivals go. That's basically where all cherubs and a lot of angels hang out, the angels giving us work to do. A motherly angel gasped at what I was holding and took the baby from me, tutting furiously at me and rocking it gently.


The whole area was being done out like the lobby of an old folks' home. This told me we were just expecting a usual bunch of dead, and were making them feel at home by making it look like something they were used to. If we'd chucked angels and seraphim at them straight off, that would have tilted minds not yet used to being dead and sent them Over the Edge to where the Other Guy always waited! They could of course stay in the Waiting Area as long as they wanted. Some were still there from whatever century they'd died on Earth. There were a bunch of cherubs showing off to the girls by walking up walls and across ceilings, this and the other stuff we could do was still new to us and the Angels were resigned to letting us have our fun, a little. I'm disabled in real life and never had a g/f or anything, probably never will do, so I just looked on. Couple of the girls looked at me and shuddered, so I got on with hanging pictures and straightening rugs and an Angel gave me an approving nod.


"They're coming!" I don't know which of the cherubs said that but, at those words, all work stopped. We crowded the great bay windows to watch the arrivals. The Angels didn't like watching them because they knew what was about to happen - but us cherubs were ghoulishly fascinated by this bit!


The Gatekeeper stood to face the oceans of clouds that were massing before the Gate. Amongst them appeared people, the newly dead, exactly as they last remembered themselves to be. So some looked old, others young, some indeterminate, as though their minds had gone and they couldn't remember what they themselves looked like. And many, many were covered with a gelid cloth of flashes and shapes, twisting and shouting in the eternal night.


Now here's the thing. In the Bible, Jesus says 'Come to me as little children....' When a baby's born, the first thing that gets removed is its caul. When someone dies and is reborn in Heaven, so they have no fear of all that's there, if they have a caul of Earthly memories - not all do - that has to be removed before they may enter.


What us cherubs wanted to watch was the creatures that removed the cauls.


They were black, had heads built of jigsaw fragments of all the memories they'd eaten, bodies grossly deformed and pulsing with darkness. They descended on all those with cauls and ripped the cauls from them, revealing pale, often translucent bodies beneath. The bodies screamed, for the caul had been their defence against knowing what had happened to them and they couldn't take their own nakedness of thought. All the Angels knew it was a necessary happening before entry, but still didn't like it.


Us cherubs, however, loved it!


The new-dead filed in and we took their 'coats' - if they remembered wearing them, they wore them - and hung them on the backs of chairs, sat them all, gave them mundane refreshments, basically using their own memories to calm them down so they didn't go Over the Edge. Slowly, the atmosphere became that of a Home on Earth, which was what they were used to, so they relaxed and drank whatever they last remembered enjoying drinking, ate whatever food they remembered as their favourite. I, with the others, went around pacifying those who'd had Cauls, they were the most frightened and we sat with them till they were calmer. How long? There's no time there.


Then I heard a gentle cough beside me. I turned and saw the Angel with the 'rescued' baby. I groaned. She firmly gave it back to me. I knew I had to return it. Faery wands can't really hurt cherubs - but they CAN pack a sting!! I was not looking forwards to going back down there. I went to the inner door of the waiting area, turned and yelled "WELCOME TO ETERNITY!!" And all those at tables raised their cups and glasses and cheered me!


Slightly encouraged by that, I went back through the door, nodded at the Gatekeeper and prepared to journey back through the dimensions.


Which is when I woke up!


Hope you've enjoyed those two dreams. I've got MANY more about my world, though no more about Heaven, that was truly a one-off. Somehow I believe it, though, it's logical. I truly believe that's how it works.


Wish I'd gotten to know what the Faerie realm was like, though!


Yours respectfully - love to know what you think.



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